Armed with some of the crappy paint that school's always seem to buy, I covered the whole build with a black wash. Thanks to a hot day, despite being watered down, the paint was drying quite quickly and I managed to get a few coats on before requiring to do things like cook food for the children. There was a lot of trial and error involved, and, after initially starting with quite thin coats, I moved onto thicker ones as it looked a lot better.
I now await the arrival of my Rub n Buff, a product I've wanted to try out for a looooong time, to add the finishing touches.
...besides the side panels, of course, but I'm not really sure what to do about those at the moment.